Vote Now: FUNNIEST sex IN the ER story! 🥵

Whatsup MuFKRs? 👋

Welcome to another issue of "Is It an Emergency?"​​, a place where healthcare workers commiserate about the insanity that is our every day. Here, we provide a weekly peek at the chaos of the ER.

So, grab your favorite 5 o’clock drink, and we’ll dive into those “you can’t make this shit up” stories

Cast your vote for the FUNNIEST sex IN the ER story! 🗳️

The One Who Never Showers Alone 🚿

I am a nursing assistant. A young female patient had asked to take a shower so I got her all set up and told her to call me when she was done because I needed to make sure she got reattached to her IV. Well, it's been about an hour and I still haven't heard her call, so I knock on her door and get no reply. I freak out thinking she's in trouble and enter...

I walk in to see that her husband is in the shower with her. She is bent over taking it in the a$$. I guess she was feeling better!

The Post-Cath Plug 🔌

So my first unit was step down telemetry. I'm sitting in front of the monitor while charting. The patient in question was a 60 something y.o. man post MI. Out of nowhere he goes v-tach and I go running into the room ready for a code. Nope.... Artifact. Dude is banging his wife like 7-8 hours post cath.

Only thing I can think to say to him mid-stroke is, "You're not even supposed to hold 10 lbs over your head!!!!" Then I ran out.

I composed myself and gave them time to do the same. I explained he had a glue plug in his groin that would be bad news to pop with vigorous movement. Like really bad news.

The Suspected Heart Attack 🫀

Had a stretch of rooms specifically for those with chest pain and suspected cardiac issues, so naturally they're on telemetry. Nurse aid watching the telemonitors noticed some patient's heart rate going crazy. Went to check on him and he was missing from his bed. Shared bathroom door for that section of patients was locked. Got security to bust into the bathroom thinking he was having some sort of cardiac event alone and turns out he was banging somebody in the bathroom. Whoops.

👉 Cast Your Vote

“Pre-planned sick days” = mental health days, MuFKRs! Don’t be afraid to recharge.

Friendly reminder: you can see financial compensation for snitching on the CEOs, MuFKRs!

Thank you Ana Rodriguez-Esteban for sending in a photo of you and your UMC co-workers!

Be sure to send in your own workplace photo to be featured—I wanna see all you MuFKRs! We're still giving out free merch for those who send in their photos.

 📊 Last Poll’s Results

• October 12, 2024: Cascade Lounge @ Agua – Palm Springs, CA

• October 13, 2024: Tower Theatre @ Fresno, CA

• December 6, 2024: Fremont Theatre @ San Luis Obispo, CA

• December 7, 2024: Luther Burbank Center @ Santa Rosa, CA

Presale for all shows will be start Wednesday, August 7th.

Presale code: MUFKR

General sale will start on August 9th, so move quickly, MuFKRs!

Cheers to another week of ER adventures, MuFKRs!

— Steven