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Vote Now: Which Patient Story Is the Craziest?

Vote Now: Which Patient Story Is the Craziest?

Welcome to the first issue of "Is It an Emergency?"

June 25, 2024

Whatsup MuFKRs!

Welcome to the first issue of "Is It an Emergency?", a place where healthcare workers can commiserate about the insanity that is our every day. Here we provide a weekly peek at the chaos of the ER.

So, grab your favorite 5 o’clock drink, and we’ll dive into those “you can’t make this shit up” stories.

Cast your vote for the craziest patient encounter! 🗳️

Methany's Star-Spangled Performance 🇺🇸

I had a psych pt- let’s call her Methany. I was taking her to the restroom for the required urine sample. Halfway there, in the middle of the hallway, she pops a squat, drops a massive deuce, stands up, salutes, and sings the Star Spangled Banner to her turd baby. Every. Single. Word. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just saluted as well. My ER doc comes walking by, and shakes his head. She called him an unpatriotic prick. I do not get paid enough for this.

The Uncircumcised Golf Ball Fix 🏌️‍♂️

We had a patient check into the ED with a complaint of ‘trouble urinating.’ 75-year-old man, come to find out, had put a golf ball on the end of his uncircumcised penis and pulled the flap of skin over and it got stuck, all because he was sick of urine dribbling. He then decided to drill a hole in the golf ball when he realized he couldn’t pee with it stuck at the end of his penis, and came to us 3 days later. The doctor who had him was a jokester, he ended up in room 4 ‘fore’ and the doctor ‘teed up his putter for urology to take him to the OR to remove the golf ball, pathology lab reported it was a Wilson.

The Smelly Yogurt Flora 🍦

Yogurt with fruit pieces in vagina to maintain proper normal flora. They misinterpreted using yogurt as putting inside themselves. Their bf was eating her out and complained of the taste. So he made her see the doctor. It's a smell I'll never forget.

👉 Cast Your Vote

Which Patient Story Is the Craziest?

Take advantage of freebies - even if you have to improvise

A classic example of hospital penny-pinching: nurses are asked to empty their pockets of pens and office supplies to prevent shortages. Wait... you supply pens?!