Vote Now: Wives Gone Wild (in the ER)

Whatsup, MuFKRs! 🎉

Welcome to another issue of "Is It an Emergency?" — the place where healthcare workers come together to share the wildest, most WTF moments from the ER.

Today's topic: Wives Gone Wild (in the ER). We’re talking ride-or-dies, DIY nurses, and the ones who take “for better or worse” and run with it — straight into the trauma bay.

You’ve seen it. You’ve lived it. Now it’s time to vote:

Cast Your Vote: Which wife deserves her own chart note?

Had a patient who had a clogged G-Tube. He asked for a wire so that he can unclog it himself and I said “Sir we don’t do that.” Got my charge to help me gather the supplies to unclog it cause coke did not work. Went back to his wife in the room, sucking on his G-tube to “unclog” it. My charge immediately said “NO.” And left me alone, where I asked “Ma’am, what are you doing?” Wife looked at me and said “Oh it is fine, honey. This happens.” And continued to suck patient’s G-tube. Patient laid back and watched his wife unclog it. Then, wife takes her mouth off tube, smacked her lips together and said: “Tastes like vanilla.” By the way, I was a 2 months old baby nurse.

I’m an EMT and this was not my patient, but I was in the bay area giving report to the ED RN for a failure to thrive patient and the drama happened in the next bed over. From what I heard, a guy had wrecked his wife’s brand new BMW on the way back from his mistress’s house. Wife found out and stormed in. She was naturally upset and started yelling. Next thing I know, the wife has grabbed his Foley catheter and ripped that thing like she was trying to start a lawnmower. The RN I was giving report to, me, and my partner all flinched and crossed our legs out of reflex. She gets taken out by PD. Husband needed reconstructive surgery. I got a funny story.

I work in oncology and my patient had BP of 57/39 (rapid called). His pain med was fentanyl ‘lollipop’ and he was asking his wife for it while he had that BP and I told her nope. His pain was probably what was keeping him alive at that point. She turned around and ‘titty twisted’ both of his nipples… That’s not necessary ma’am.

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Cheers to another week of ER adventures, MuFKRs!

— Steven